First Chemo Treatment

The first chemo treatment is history!  Thank you so much for your prayers, emails, text messages, ad infinitum……  The day couldn’t have gone any better.  I could so seriously feel the prayers.  It was amazing!  I had to blink back the tears a couple of times as I sat in the chair and thought about how peaceful and calm I was.  We all know that wasn’t “me”!  Not in my nature! One of the social workers came by and visited with me during my treatment.  When she found out it was my first one, she asked if I was nervous.  I had to tell her I wasn’t!!  That’s a tangible answer to prayer!

The steroids I had to take last night normally would have kept me awake.  (One of those pills usually keeps me awake and I had to take five!)  I slept like a baby!  All the things that have been, and could have been wrong were “all better”.  My blood pressure which runs low and has been running “lower” was almost up to where a normal person’s would be!  My heart rate which tends to run fast and has been running “faster” was just fast!  And the fluid they removed from my abdomen was put through a long list of tests to determine if it was anything bad and all tests came back good!

Thanks again to my personal nurse, chauffeur, encourager, comedian, and friend who also was with me every minute – well, except for when he went and got himself some Taco Bell!  He does have an appreciation for authentic international foods even in difficult times!

The first thought through my mind this morning was “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!” (Ps. 118:24)  It’s been a good day!  I know tough days are coming, but the God who gave me strength for today will give me strength for tomorrow!  Thanks again for your prayers.  They are invaluable to me!

“After you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you!” (I Peter 5:10)

Update 2-19-11

This scripture was sent to me this week.  (Proverbs 16:9) “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.”  I had plans for this week, but He established my steps.  As you know, I was scheduled to begin chemo on Tuesday, February 15, but that appointment was postponed.  There are so many details and I will spare you!  I’m amazed when I see the Lord’s timing and scheduling in all of the details.  I’ll try to encapsulate!

I had appointments with three different doctors this week.  Two of the appointments were follow-up appointments that had been scheduled for a few weeks.  One, a four-week follow-up with my surgeon, the other a two-week follow-up with my primary care physician.  The third one was with the oncologist, which was to have been part of the chemo process.

Long story short.  As a result of the appointment I had on Monday with my primary care physician, the Tuesday chemo was not recommended.  It was determined that I needed more time to recuperate.  (I’ll also spare you the symptoms and the rationale!)  Here’s what’s amazing.  Because I had this appointment previously scheduled, the determination to not begin chemo was made on Monday rather than Tuesday when I met with the oncologist.  That meant that I did not take all the premedication that is prescribed for the night before chemo.  Otherwise, I would have taken all the medications and chances are, when I went in “for chemo” on Tuesday, it would have been postponed – after I had taken all the medication.  Thank you, Lord, for planning the smallest detail of my schedule!

I then saw the oncologist on Tuesday and the surgeon on Thursday.  All three doctors were interested in my symptoms and agreed that I should have some tests to give more information.  Again, long story short, it was determined that I still had fluid in my abdomen.  I could tell it was dissipating, but it was v-e-r-y slow.  And many of my body’s systems didn’t like the fluid. So, yesterday that was removed.  I feel like a new person!!  Amazing!  Thank the Lord for modern medicine that could figure out what was wrong and hopefully remedy the situation!

 

The oncologist currently has me scheduled for chemo this coming Tuesday, February 22 at 11:15.  I am to call him on Monday to let him know if I feel up to getting started.  If I keep feeling as good as I do now, I’m ready!  So, if you can transfer those prayers you were going to pray (or did pray) on the 15^th, I need them on the 22^nd!  (Of course, I realize he could decide to postpone again!)

 

I picked up my wig on Wednesday afternoon.  My hair stylist went with me and helped make sure it looked as much like “me” as possible.  Since my hair is so thin, the wig looks different from my hair, but I’m pleased with it.  It now sits on a flower vase in my closet – waiting to be worn!

So, that’s this week in a nutshell.  Thank you so much for your concern and your prayers.  It was discouraging to not get started with chemo (but I also didn’t think I felt up to it).  And it was discouraging to realize I wasn’t recovering according to schedule.  And it was discouraging to have to do so many tests and procedures.  But, here’s what I read in my devotions right in the middle of all of this:

“Give yourself fully to the adventure of today.  Walk boldly along the path of Life, relying on your ever-present Companion.  Do not give in to fear or worry, those robbers of abundant living!  Fix your eyes on Me, the Author and Perfecter of your faith, and many difficulties on the road ahead will vanish before you reach them.  Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am holding you by your right hand.  Nothing can separate you from My Presence!”

I was overwhelmed when I read that!  It couldn’t have been timelier.  So, as I went to x-ray, to the CT scan, to the vampires in the lab, etc. I looked forward to the adventure that the Lord had planned for me.  The people who work in those places are getting to where they recognize me and act like they’re glad to see me!  (Wish the feeling was mutual!! :-))  And of course, these are people I would have never met, had I not been placed in these circumstances.  So, I’m trying to remember that with every interaction.

And, I couldn’t end without saying that Steve has gone everywhere with me this week.  He’s even missed racquetball a couple of times!  He’s too good!  I’m bored with all of this, so I can only imagine how bored he is!  But, he never says a word – he’s just “there”, and always ready to go out to eat if I feel like it when I’m finished!  I’m so thankful for him!  And besides all that, he eats cereal when there’s nothing else to eat - and doesn’t complain!

Thanks again for your prayers. Your words of encouragement and support are invaluable!

2-10-11 Port Installed!

 My port was installed today!  Thanks to your prayers, everything went smoothly and I was peaceful as I went through the process!  I knew a little about what to expect since I’ve helped my dad with his pacemaker site after he’s had the pacemaker changed.  So, I didn’t “freak out” when I saw the site where it had been implanted. :-)  And once the bruising in gone I think my site will look better than my dad’s – just like I will look better bald than he or my brother!!  Just telling it like it is! :-)

It’s not a good thing when the receptionist at the surgery desk says, “Weren’t you just here recently?”  I told her I was getting to be one of their best customers to which she agreed, that was not a good thing!!  Once a month for three months in a row is the record that I hope I don’t break!

While I was getting into my hospital gown, a song that I’ve heard The Collingsworth Family sing BURST into my mind “from nowhere”!!  I didn’t even know all the words, but the words I did know, ran through my mind, crowding out anything else that I might be thinking:  “The Healer is here.  The Healer is here.  Let your faith rise from all doubt and fear.  The Healer is here.  Jesus, the Healer, is here. Ask what you will for the Healer is here!”  Wow!  Where did that come from?  I thank the Lord for giving me that song just when I needed it.  At a time when I “should” have been nervous and apprehensive, I was able to lie down on the bed, close my eyes, and wait with confidence and courage.

Today some of the things for which I was thankful were: 1) for Steve who is always there, making sure everything gets done right, carrying all my “stuff”, parking the car, and just being calm and strong (and handsome, I might add!), 2) that I was only having a procedure rather than major surgery, and 3) that the port being “installed” is temporary - not a permanent port for dialysis or some other process that would be part of my life the rest of my days on earth.

As a post script I will say that my recovery from surgery seems to have taken a strong, steady healing path.  I feel better every day and am so grateful!  I drove this week, went to women’s Bible study Tuesday morning, and went to the class on Psalms that I’m enrolled in on Wednesday nights.

Thank you so much for your prayers.  They make the difference in each day.  I was thinking this evening about how I used to take my Aunt Lois to the Missouri Cancer Associates once a month for a shot.  We had to go to the chemo room for them to give her that shot.  Each month I couldn’t wait to get out of there.  When she passed away this past April, one thing I was thankful for was that neither she nor I had to go to that chemo room anymore.  Who would have thought?  I now have to face my worst fears.  They are still the same.  The difference is that “His strength is made perfect in my weakness” (II Corinthians 12:9).  That’s the only difference.  

Thanks again for your prayers and for your interest in walking with me on this journey.  The 15^th’s “a comin’”……

Oncologist Visit – 2/4/11

I visited the oncologist today.   For those who just want the facts, :-) here they are: 

·        
           My port will be “installed” early in the morning on February 10. 

      My first chemo treatment will be on the 15^th.  I will receive two drugs.

     The “rounds” will be every 3 weeks with one drug given every week.

      I will have 6 rounds.

Further details are that the oncologist reviewed with us the happenings since my last visit.  He had the report from the Dr. at Wash U as well as the new and “improved” pathology report following my surgery.  Based on all the new information, his analysis was that my cancer stage is 1A – the lowest possible.  That is an actual, visible miracle.  Thank you again, Lord!  The type of tumor continues to be the “issue”.  Even though it was “caught” before it spread, because it was so virulent, the risk of reoccurrence is very high.  Therefore, he still recommends chemo – and he recommends 6 treatments as opposed to the possible 3-treatment option.

I have spent the last 2 weeks recuperating from surgery on January 19^th.  An interesting process, this recovering from major abdominal surgery!  I had thought it would be a slow, continuous improvement process.  Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be, but mine isn’t.  It’s one good day, one or more not-so-good days, then a good day, etc.  I’m looking forward to the good days becoming the most consistent part of the process!  I’m thinking I’m almost there!  I don’t see the surgeon for 2 more weeks so I know that means she is expecting this progression to continue for a minimum of 2 more weeks.  I know how important it is to follow her instructions so I’m doing my best.  I'm pretty sure I did “overdo” it and that may be why I’ve had several not-so-good days.  I had the feeling that I could “walk this out” of my system.  Wrong!  That doesn’t work!  Right now I’m restricting my walking to small intervals rather than walking 20 minutes 3x a day!!  The latter schedule doesn’t lend itself to a good day!

Other things I have learned are:  1) Never take any bodily function for granted, 2)  Intestines hold a grudge if someone bothers them, 3) Size L pants are the right size for maximum comfort. :-(

          

Thanks to you again (still) for your prayers and concern.  I have to admit I’m very apprehensive about the first chemo treatment.  Once I know how it will affect me, I feel like I can deal with it (maybe, probably!).  The “unknown” is disconcerting to me.  This is another chance for God to show me His grace and His strength – in my weakness.  I find myself trying to control the situation at this juncture, and it doesn’t work!  I’m not in control – and that’s a good thing!  So, I would appreciate your prayers for my peace of mind and prayer for minimal side effects from the chemo.  James 4:2 says, “You do not have, because you do not ask.” So I’m asking for these two things.

With the one drug being administered weekly, they say my hair won’t fall out all at once, but will thin and eventually fall out.  So, that should be an interesting process.  I’m scheduled to get my wig styled and pick it up on the 16^th.  I’m hoping I will feel like doing that the day after my first chemo treatment.  The good news is that my hairstylist has offered to go with me to pick up the wig!  I was so excited when she volunteered to go!  She can help make sure I look like I'm supposed to! 

This journey is feeling a bit lengthy and it really hasn’t started.  I’m finding that I’m not very patient!  That is probably a virtue I will learn to cultivate during these next few weeks.  I hope I can do it gracefully!  I know I can – if I lean on the Lord and cling to His promises for strength and courage.  My prayer is I Chronicles 28:20, “May I be strong and courageous and act.  May I not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God is with me.  He will not fail me or forsake me.”