Blog Introduction

December 17, 2010, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer – Stage 1A.  That was the good news!  The “other news” was that the tumor, although encapsulated and small, was Grade 3+.  As the surgeon said, “It was really ugly.” I learned that it is the most virulent, aggressive type of cancer.  It likes to “throw off” cells as the tumor forms and if one cell was loose in my body, it would grow rapidly.  Immediately I began seeking the best and appropriate treatment and started my journey through cancer treatment.

This blog began as a tool to keep my friends and family informed of my progress.  However, it soon became a chronicle of God’s strength, peace, and healing that I experienced on a daily basis.  The blessings I experienced were too numerous to remember, so this blog became the repository for collecting the struggles and triumphs that were part of two surgeries and installation of my port, plus chemotherapy and all that goes with it.

The Scriptures that I had read or memorized across the years would repeat through my mind at the most appropriate times.  Songs I had learned or heard would come to mind – at the perfect time.  I was amazed and humbled that God, in His mercy, cared about the smallest details of my “misery”.  And in fact, my “misery” was mitigated by His grace – one day at a time!  That’s why I wrote this blog.

As friends and family read of God’s goodness to me, many suggested (or insisted) that I should “write a book”.  I realize that my brief bout with cancer is miniscule compared to what others go through.  They are the ones who should write a book.  I also realize that when going through something unknown and “scary”, it is immensely helpful to know others have gone through the same thing.  As we go through this short “dot” of eternity, called life, there are times when we need extra encouragement.  It is my prayer that this blog will be an encouragement to others who go through similar experiences or who just need to be reminded that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (The Bible, Psalm 46:1)  God also said, in Joshua 1:5. “Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you.  I will not leave you or forsake you.” Then He tells us in verse 9, “Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  I have experienced these truths personally.  I hope that as you read, you will be inspired to also trust God as you go through difficult times in your life.

This blog is printed “…to the praise of His glory”. (Ephesians 1:12)

One Year Anniversary

I just couldn’t keep myself from doing a blog entry tonight, even though my blog has been dormant now for several months!  A year ago today I had my first surgery, which was supposed to be “no big deal” and I had come home for my 2 week recuperation before resuming my normal duties.  Little did I know that on the 17^th my world would change!

I can’t help but relive those days, remembering “a year ago today”…..  To make it more vivid to me, I had a CT scan on Friday and went to the Dr. today for the results.  I’m guessing there will never be a time when waiting for those scan results doesn’t create a bit of anxiety.  I breathed a sigh of relief when the Dr. said the scan showed that my abdominal and pelvic “pictures” were clear.  There was a tiny place on one of my lungs that they will watch, but the Dr. is 99% sure it’s nothing and suspects that at the time of the next scan it will be gone.  My blood work was “peachy” as the nurse said!  All I can say is, “Praise God from whom all blessings flow!”

After Steve and I left the Dr. office, we went out for lunch.  When we were almost finished with lunch, I went to the ladies’ room and noticed as I walked by a table, that the back of one of the people at the table looked like my gynecologist.  So as I walked on I was reminded of the fact that if it hadn’t been for her staff who listened to my concerns, did an extra exam (with minimal or no symptoms), then sent me for an internal ultrasound – my cancer would not have been detected at the very early stage it was diagnosed.  As I came out of the bathroom stall (I know, “TMI!!!!!”) and was washing my hands, in walked Dr. Grant!  She said, “Cheryl!!  I saw you walk by so I followed you into the bathroom!”  :-) I hadn’t seen her since October of last year, but she said she’s been getting the Dr. reports and has been following my progress. 

I told her that my first surgery was a year ago today (her surgeon did my first surgery) and that her staff saved my life.  She threw her arms around me and gave me a big hug – with tears in her eyes.  So we stood in the ladies’ room and I gave her an update on how I’m feeling, how my hair is growing, etc.  It was amazing that the Lord would allow me to see her and thank her – on the one-year anniversary of my surgery.  I told her I don’t get to see any of my regular doctors anymore and she said, she knew that, that I’m seeing all the big-shot doctors now! :-)  Needless to say, that meeting was a great capstone to a wonderful morning!  It warmed my heart that she was so interested in and excited about my progress.  I have been blessed with wonderful doctors and nurses throughout my treatment. 

If you’re reading this, I know you are one of the many people who has prayed for me during this past eventful year.  I just wanted to write a short note to give you an update and to thank God for His mercy, His healing, and His strength that He gave me to make it through tough times.  Now that I’m back to “normal” (whatever that is!!) it is comforting to know from first-hand experience, that God does give grace as we need it.  He gives us our DAILY bread – not ahead of time and not behind time.  How blessed I am!  What a great God we serve!!

Christmas has a special sparkle to it this year – in fact every day does!  I look forward to closing this year, 2011, and eagerly anticipate 2012!  I hope each of you has a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 

Praise Report!

I wanted to let you know that I went today for my baseline CT scan.  I wouldn't let my mind dwell on the "what ifs", but they occasionally crept into my mind.  At the same appointment I had my blood drawn.  Two weeks ago my white count had "plummeted" and my platelets were low.  The Dr. said it would probably take months for my blood to get back to normal, but he didn't seem concerned, so I wasn't.

Long story short....the CT scan was normal!!!  And....my white count and platelets are normal!!!  I'm still a bit anemic, but the Dr. said that should go away with time!  I could tell he was surprised.  He said, "For all the trouble we've had with your blood, it's come back up nicely."  I don't have to see him again for 2 months!!  If all is well at that appointment I will be on a 3 month schedule with him!  A year ago I would have "croaked" at the thought of seeing the Dr. every 3 months.  Today, I was so excited that I had to apologize to the Dr. and tell him it wasn't that I hadn't enjoyed seeing him every week! :-)  It's my understanding that the 3 month schedule will last for 2 years.  He said that after 2 years, if "the disease" has not returned, he will take my port out.  That will be another happy day, summer of 2013!!

My energy level is basically back to normal.  I "unfroze" my membership at the health club last week and worked out for about an hour on two days - including 40-45 minutes of slow cardio exercise.  I was so excited!  I could barely keep the tears back.  I told some people I was afraid someone would report that "there's a lady in there crying and she doesn't have any hair."  So I held it together for the sake of the other clients! :-)  But, my heart was praising the Lord the whole time I was there! 

I can't adequatly express my thanks to God and to you.  Someone thanked me the other day for doing the blog.  I told them it was selfish on my part because I wanted people to know how to pray!  And you have prayed and I thank the Lord for you.  Hopefully I won't have any news that will merit writing a post for a long time!  Thank you, thank you - again!  I know God will bless you for your care and concern for me during these last few difficult months! 

The song I woke up with this morning is how I will close this blog for now.  It's the sentiment of my heart tonight:   

"How great is our God!  
Sing with me - how great is our God! 
And all will see - how great, how great is our God.  
He's the name above all names. 
He is worthy of our praise.  
My heart will sing - how great is our God!"

The Week-After Last Chemo

The week after chemo usually follows a pattern.  I feel good while the steroids are in my system, then Thursday and Friday are more "down" days, with Friday being better than Thursday!  Somehow, subconsciously, I had the feeling that after my last treatment I would be "well"!  Well.....it doesn't work that way!  Thursday was among my worst down days!  Not a bad day - just not a good one!  I finally "succumbed" and spent the afternoon mostly in the recliner.  Friday was better and by Saturday I was feeling pretty good again.  But, that whole scenario helped me to realize that it's going to take a while for my body to rebuild itself!  I was getting impatient.

I have been told that my hair will start growing back in 3 months.  I can't expect other things in my body to be back to normal any sooner than that.  So, I'm "chilling out" a little - realizing that if my blood count doesn't bounce back, I really shouldn't panic or be discouraged!

It's a good thing I was feeling better on Saturday because the NO MO CHEMO Re-Birthday party my brother and family had planned was about to begin!  Family started arriving on Friday and by Sunday morning, there were 20 of us!!  Half stayed here at our house and half stayed at my dad's house!  We all went to church together on Sunday morning.  I could barely contain myself.  I couldn't have been prouder or more grateful!  We sang a song on Sunday morning that I may have quoted to you before, but at the risk of being redundant I will repeat the words.  They were so appropriate for the first Sunday after I finished chemotherapy - with my family all sitting together in church.

Through the love of God, our Savior, All will be well.
Free and changeless is His favor, All is well.
Precious is the blood that healed us,
Perfect is the grace that sealed us,
Strong the hand stretched forth to shield us, All must be well.


Though we pass through tribulation, All will be well.
'Cause it's such a full salvation, All is well.
Happy still in God confiding,
Fruitful if in Christ abiding,
Steadfast through the Spirit's guiding,
All must be well.


We expect a bright tomorrow, All will be well.
We can sing through days of sorrow, All is well.
On our Father's love relying,
Jesus every need supplying,
Yes, in living or in dying, All must be well.

The title of the song is "All Must Be Well" and can be downloaded from iTunes.  It's probably my all-time favorite song - and the words are so true! I've found out in my own life - that even in "tribulation", all is well.

After church on Sunday, party preparations took place in earnest and at 1:00 the guests began to arrive.  It was a wonderful time!!  We had between 55 and 60 people here during the afternoon.  I enjoyed every minute!  It was amazing to be able to celebrate with so many friends.  And each one seemed to be as happy for the occasion as I was!  Thank you, all of my friends, for celebrating this milestone in my life with me!  Many of you who couldn't be here in person have communicated that you were here in spirit!  The weather was warm, but not oppressive.  But...the clouds rolled in and the rain "rolled us inside".  However, the party wasn't dampened and we had a wonderful day!  By the time the last family left, this body could tell it still had some recovering to do!  I was glad to tumble into bed and thanked God for a wonderful day, a comfortable bed, and a bright tomorrow!! Click here for pictures of the NO MO CHEMO party.

Today is Wednesday.  Yesterday I had my blood drawn.  The Dr. said last week he would call if anything was wrong.  He hasn't called.  I'm assuming he won't!!  Praise the Lord!  My blood must be okay so far!  To celebrate my first Tuesday without a Dr. appointment and chemo, Steve and I ran to St. Louis.  We didn't do anything too tiring, but did eat at one of our favorite lunch places and of course, hit Ted Drewes for frozen custard before we came back home.  I was happily surprised at my level of tiredness, which was not excessive!  I think my body enjoyed a Tuesday without being "zapped"!

And to further celebrate not being full of chemicals, I spent this morning at MU, helping score Master's comps presentations!  I was so excited!  (Who would have thought?)  I couldn't believe I was really "back in the saddle" after so many months.  My heart was, and is full of praise to the Lord, for His blessings and His mercy to me!

Thanks again for your interest, your support and your prayers during this journey.  Although the journey isn't complete, I'm hoping the most 'uphill" part is over.  I will keep you posted!

It Is Finished!!!

Receiving my Purple Heart certificate!

My last chemo treatment is finished!  What a wonderful day!  About 30 minutes before I was finished, Steve and I were sitting in the chemo lab reading, when in walked my dad, and nephews, Grant and Graham!    We were visiting with them, when a few minutes later my brother, Gary and sister-in-law, Sheila walked in. About 5 minutes before my treatment was finished, G.B. and Shara walked in!!  We had quite a crowd in the lab for "the last drop"!  When the nurse came to unhook me, she brought me a certificate, signed by the nurses and Dr.!  I finished with a cheering section!  And I am finished!  I can't say it any better than with the Psalmist, who said, "I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth." (Psalm 34:1)

Shara and me doing the NO MO CHEMO dance!

My counts were improved.  The Dr. said it is "worrisome" that my bones haven't produced blood cells like he had hoped they would, which could indicate that it might take me longer to recover from the chemo.  So, I still need prayer for my bones.  He will check my blood weekly at first to monitor my counts.

Steve asked the Dr. the risk of the cancer coming back.  He said there is a 10% chance it would reoccur within the next 5 years.  I'm counting on the 90%.  But, they will do surveillance for five years to watch for any reoccurrence.

I plan to post an update next week, but after that will only keep you posted if there are any development of interest.  I will definitely update if I need people to pray.  As I've said before, your prayers have been the key to my surviving this ordeal.

You, my friends, have been an immeasurable source of support during the past months.  I cannot begin to enumerate the ways that support has been demonstrated, but I will give you a sample of what I have received – from you! 

Beginning with prayers.  Not only have you prayed individually, but many of you have shared with me that you have put my name on your church prayer chain, given my name to an intercessory prayer group, had my name said in special healing masses, etc.  I spoke Sunday to a former parent in one of the schools where I was principal in STL.  She said she is up at 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning, interceding for people who have needs and that my name is on her list.  Your prayers have made the difference for me.  Thank you, thank you!!  And thank you, Lord, for hearing our prayers!

Cards.  Very few days have gone by that I have not received at least one card and many days there were several in the mail.  What an encouragement your words and thoughtfulness have been!  I have the cards all saved in a box!  I’m not sure when I will be able to part with them.  They really mean a lot to me!  Thank you!

Gifts and food!  My goodness!  It was so much fun to get gifts in the mail, have them delivered at the door, or brought in person!  I will never remember to mention each one, but I’ll give you an overview of what I’ve enjoyed.  A hand-crafted cross that is sculpted to fit my hand – to hold when I’m frightened (occasionally I’ve put it down! J), homemade chicken noodle soup (when I could barely eat anything else), homemade cookies, homemade muffins, homemade cinnamon rolls, homemade banana cake with cream cheese icing (some of these were specified as being  for the purpose of helping me gain weight!), edible fruit bouquet, a cookie bouquet, homemade matzo ball soup and gefilta fish (Kosher at Passover time from my best Jewish friend, and my stomach loved it!), hats, caps, chemo head wraps, pajamas, socks, ice cream treats, Ted Drewes….I think I’ve thanked each one of you individually, but thank you again to all of you who brought or sent “things” to cheer me up.  Since my stomach has stayed “mad” most of the time during the past months, each new thing to try was a treat.

Visits, calls, emails, text messages, Facebook messages!  There’s no way to express how much it meant to know you were thinking of me.  Thanks for taking the time to let me know.  My aunt and uncle traveled here from Springfield, MO three different times during the past six months – just to be here, to help, or to cheer me up!  And your communication with me has meant just as much.  Thank you, thank you!

I am overwhelmed, humbled, and eternally grateful to you for reading this blog, for staying in touch and providing support in whatever way you have been able.  My journey is not over, as you know.  There will be lots of check-ups.  And I will let you know how I'm doing.

Today's song that was in my mind when I awakened was an old one by Bill and Gloria Gaither.  The words are as follows:

We are so blessed, By the gifts from your hand.

I just can't understand why you loved us so much

We are so blessed, We just can't find a way, or the words that can say,

Thank you, Lord, for your touch.

Yesterday, Psalm 103: 1-3 was brought to my mind.  I've memorized it as a little girl, read it many times, but yesterday when I read it, it expressed my feelings so perfectly:

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,

who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases.....

AMEN!

If you are in town this coming Sunday, July 3, come on over.  If I've forgotten to invite someone, invite them and come on over to our house for the NO MO CHEMO Re-birthday party!  Food will be ready at 1:00 and we will be on the patio and/or in the downstairs if it's too hot.  Here's a picture of part of the group who will be there!

Outside the medical building

If you are interested, there are a couple more pictures at https://picasaweb.google.com/cjc2751

Transfusion - Finished!

I thought I would add a short update following my transfusion. All went well. Many of you know I'm not a good pill taker. So the worst part of the day was having to take 2 pills as precaution against an allergic reaction to the blood. :-)  I knew the pills were part of the orders so I took my own "props" - orange juice and a banana. I got the pills down and the rest of the day was easy after that! :).

The blood was red. I had hoped for blue. But I guess it wasn't a match. That was humbling. :-)  The most exciting part of the day was when the nurse was unhooking me, she forgot to clamp off the tube to my port so I was baptized in blood.  I don't know if it was my blood or the "other person's", but it was all red!  So my first task when I got home was to do laundry!  But all is well! 

Thanks for your prayers and concern.  I do have pink skin now and color in my cheeks!  Amazing!  The life is definitely in the blood!

Transfusion Time!

Well, just about the time I think I have the "final lap" planned, it gets changed!  But it's not all bad news!  I was able to get my chemo treatment today so I am on schedule!!!!  I am so thankful for that!  But because my hemoglobin had dropped and was getting close to the "magic number",  they thought I should schedule myself for a transfusion.  Also, my blood pressure continues to be marginal even though I drink water like a camel!

So, we went straight from chemo to the outpatient oncology lab at the hospital for them to "type and cross" my blood.  The chemo lab left my port "accessed" so the hospital could use my port to draw blood.  Then when I go in to the hospital tomorrow for the units of blood, all they have to do is hook me up and get going.  I won't have to wait for them to access my port.  (I know, I sound like I know what I'm talking about but it's all new to me.  I just nod my head and give approval as they make logistical suggestions!)

So, when I thought all my new adventures were over, here's a new one.  I've never had a transfusion before.  Apparently it's a slow process - 2 1/2 - 3 hours for each unit and I'm getting two units.  So I will be "in the chair" for 5-6 hours tomorrow.  I'm thinking I may sleep some of it away.  On the other hand, I may start feeling so energetic that they will have to tie me in the chair! :-)  The nurse at the hospital said they get to see the color return to peoples' cheeks and skin - often while they are in the chair.  So, I'm hoping I come out of there looking ten years younger and with the energy of a 20 year old!  Steve is thinking maybe he wants one too so he will be able to keep up with me. :-)

As far as the chemo treatments go - last week's was a hard one.  I didn't bounce back very fast and "dragged my tail" around most of the week.  But like I've said before, my bad days are better than some peoples' best days, so I'm not complaining.  I lost weight because I couldn't seem to get much food down.  However, one of my Truman State University Board colleagues brought me Ted Drewes to our meeting in Kirksville on Saturday.  That stopped the weight loss slide real fast!!  Praise the Lord for emergency measures! :-)

Today's treatment went well.  I still have steroids and anti-nausea medicine in my system so I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm hoping that as they wear off, I won't feel as puny as I did last week.  I'm sure the new blood will help too!

I am so grateful to still be on schedule with my treatments!  The Dr. said today that he will see me next week for my "graduation treatment"!!!  YAY!!!!  I told him that sounded good to me!!  Praise the Lord for His peace, courage, strength, and mercy to me during these last 6 months.  I know I will need more in the future, but I also know that "His grace is sufficient" (II Corinthians 12:9) and I'm counting on that.  I've had first-hand experience with His grace through these difficult days.

As I sat there today and looked around the lab, I noticed again, the many spouses who were there, supporting their loved one.  So, let me say again, that I thank the Lord for giving me Steve, who has proved his commitment to be with me in sickness and in health.  He has slept by my bed in the hospital, walked with me in the hospital hallways, walked with me in the neighborhood, dropped me off at the door when I couldn't walk very far, brought me ice cream every night :-), been at every chemo treatment and Dr. appointment, told me how good I look when I know I don't, calls my"ugly" scars"tattoos" and is impressed with how much we paid for them!, ad infinitum......  Friday will be our 22nd wedding anniversary and we hope to be able to actually celebrate!  He is definitely a gift from God!

I want to also mention the support I've received from my family. My dad has "always been there" asking what he could do to help. He came over during chemo a couple of times, but mostly just knowing he was there, providing moral support and praying were the best things he could and did do. My brother and sister-in-law and family have made numerous trips to be here for family events when they knew I couldn't make the trip to their house to celebrate.  They surprised us to celebrate my 60th birthday even though I wasn't able to be very celebratory and drove here and back to Cedar Falls, IA in one day to do it. The necklace they brought for a gift is one that illustrates their love and I will wear it with pride forever.  My nieces and nephews have faithfully sent texts, called, and prayed for me.  Steve's daughter-in-law, Norma, has sent an email every Tuesday morning to encourage me and "coach" me!  And during chemo each week I've received text messages faithfully from my aunt, Mary Lou Sams, and my cousin, Carolyn Coffman. And these are just examples of my family's support.  Friends' support will be part of next week's blog! :-)

I don't have a song to share.  The song that was in my mind when I woke up this morning was an advertisement for a pest control company here in town. :-)  How spiritual is that?  The only connection I could make is that the stuff they use and the stuff they put in my body are probably somewhat similar! :-)  It did make me chuckle, I have to admit.

I will close, though, with a quote from a book I am reading, Choosing to SEE: A Journey of Struggle and Hope, by Mary Beth Chapman.  She quotes Philip Yancey: "A person who lives in faith must proceed on incomplete evidence, trusting in advance what will only make sense in reverse."  That resonated with me.  Some things in life make no sense to us in advance.  And some things don't even make sense in reverse - not in this life.  But, by faith we know that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)  That gives us the courage to take that next step of faith.

I am eagerly looking forward to being finished with my GRADUATION TREATMENT next week!  My heart is overwhelmed with praise to the One who has helped me get to this point!  And as always, thanks to you for your interest, your love, and your support!  And thanks for reading this! :-)