No Chemo Today

Bummer!  My counts were too low again today so I didn't "get to do" chemo.  I was disappointed, but not devastated.  The Dr. said last week he would be surprised if they were high enough for a treatment this week.  I was praying that he would be surprised, but the Lord surprised me instead!  I really thought they would be up.  I had prayed specifically for those counts!!

I have mentioned before,that most mornings I wake up with a song running through my mind.  Today's song was, "Come and see the glory of the Lord.  Come and bow before His throne.....For He is Lord of all creation, Lord of all the earth.  Lord above the heavens, Worthy, so worthy to be praised..."  I'm not sure I have all the words right, but the message of the song spoke to me.  I knew there was a chance "our plans" weren't going to work out for today.  But, I know the One who is in control, so I can relax in His plan, knowing it is best!  The Dr. seemed to be in tune with that thinking as well, only he quoted the verse, "The best laid plans of mice and men....." Once again I couldn't find that one in the Bible. :-) 

My Dr. cracks me up.  He has a great sense of humor.  And he rarely sits still!  When he decided the counts were too low and we wouldn't do chemo, I told him that I had even eaten my spinach this week.  He kept right on working on the computer and said, "So, that's why you had that corn cob pipe hanging out of your mouth when you came in." - making reference, of course, to Popeye.  I told him I had hoped he wouldn't see me with it.:-)  Bottom line, he continues to tell me, there is nothing I can do about the counts.  I just want to "do something"!!  :-)  I've never before found something that ice cream didn't fix, so I'm out of my comfort zone!

My white blood cells are the culprits, specifically the neutrophils (I think).  They seem to be especially sensitive to chemotherapy.  There is a shot they can give that will boost the count, and he said will make my bones ache.  I am to go in on Thursday for blood work.  At that time the Dr. will determine whether or not I need the shot to get me prepared for the beginning of Cycle 3 on Tuesday, April 5.  That will be the next two-drug treatment.

I am officially "without hair" although I still have a little - very little. :-)  It seems to have quit coming out for now.  We'll see how much of it hangs on for the duration.  I've attached a picture of me with my new "do".  I'm starting to feel comfortable in it.  It is definitely an adjustment.  I had no idea how much of my identify was associated with my hair.  I mean, after all, it has been part of "me" for 60 years!  I'm sure it's the same with losing any part of the body.  It's a grieving process.  I'm just grateful that this part of my body isn't functional and it will grow back.  It helps me empathize in some small degree with those who have to lose other body parts through injury or disease.  I'm glad these earthly bodies are temporary.  They are our "earthly tents". (II Corinthians 5:1)  We will one day shed limitations due to our earthly body and enjoy a perfected body! (I Corinthians 15:42-44)  Meantime, we do the best we can with these earthly bodies that don't always do what we want them to do!  And, as Paul says, in Romans 8:18, "For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us!"

Thank you again for your prayers.  My progress through this journey is a testimony to God's strength - and that's because of your prayers.  So, as you pray, help us pray that my count will be up and that I won't need the shot. Meantime, I am feeling miraculously well!  The Dr. gave me a prescription that has helped my indigestion a lot!  I have good energy and don't feel too weak. I am thankful for every good day.  I always have a few "lower" days after each treatment, especially the "beginning-of-the-cycle, two-drug treatments".  But, God gives strength for those days and I know He will for the future ones as well.